The wonders, woes, and wipeouts of weddings

The wonders, woes, and wipeouts of weddings
Opinion + AnalysisRelationships
BY The Ethics Centre 20 SEP 2018
A wedding day – and all the kerfuffle beforehand – should come with a warning label. Ethical dilemmas ahead.
Decisions like: “Should I even have a wedding?” “Who should I invite?” “How much should I spend?” “Is this day really just about my partner and I?” “Do I have to invite my embarrassing uncle who drinks too much and flirts with the bridesmaids?” It can drive you spare.
Sure, taking the time to work things out won’t mean you know the right thing to do. But it’ll mean the decisions you come to will have been thoughtful and considered.
So if you’re stuck, start with purpose. What do you believe is the purpose of a wedding? And what actions are in line with that?
Purpose
Say a wedding is meant to be a celebration of the life that you two will build together. If that’s true, would you go into debt for that wedding, knowing that some of that future life will be spent paying it off? That answer really depends on you.
Would it make sense to skimp instead? Maybe. But if a celebration to you includes good food, drinks, live music, and cake, is that in line with the purpose of a wedding either?
“Hey,” you might be thinking. “A wedding isn’t about the two of us. It’s about everyone who’s been a part of our lives.” And fair enough! No one can argue with that. But if you’re juggling venue booking dates, your budget, and your dreams of having a week long wedding in Tahiti, remembering your guests and what they’d want can help you narrow it down. Sometimes multiple ceremonies and parties slim down people’s wallets and annual leave. Other times, it makes for a dream come true. You know your guests – and your purpose – best.
Wedding dilemmas splitting you in two? Book a free appointment with Ethi-call. A non-partisan, highly trained professional will help you see through chiffon to make decisions you can live by.
Duties
These same questions carry over into duties. Maybe you’re deciding who to invite and who not to. Remembering your duty to yourself, your partner, and your guests can all provide different perspectives. If you think the life you two will have together won’t include distant relatives or friends (especially relationships that were difficult or abusive), would it make sense to have them there on your wedding day?
But if you believe you have a duty to these people to invite them – be they family, old friends, or people you just need to invite – you might feel differently. No matter what you decide it’s worth asking, if you want to keep your guests happy and comfortable, would inviting difficult or disruptive people prevent that?
Consequences
These days, people aren’t the only things we’re concerned about. The impact of our weddings on the environment is something we’re much more conscious of. You might have wanted three thousand silver helium balloons on your wedding ever since you were a child, but you also just watched War on Waste and know that balloons end up in the tummies of lots of birds and turtles. Does the benefit outweigh the harm?
A good way to test if you’re cutting yourself too much slack on something you’d judge others for, is to shine it under the sunlight test. Would you still do it if it’d be on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow?
Character
As with anything, it’s worth considering whether it presents you as the type of person you believe you are – and living the values you and your partner share. Does your wedding display qualities you strive toward, like thoughtfulness, fun, and generosity? Or does it paint you as selfish, unprepared, and demanding? If the wedding you and your partner plan are inspired by shared values, chances are you’re on your way to plan a wedding that reflects these aspirations.
A wedding holds a lot of symbolism because of its importance in culture, religion, and history. Of course, it’s also fraught, often for the exact same reasons. If you’re in a “non-traditional” relationship or you disagree with marriage altogether, you might feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Does a wedding fit with the kind of person you want to be? Do you feel a sense of duty – to yourself, to your family, to your wider community, to social media, to God – to have a wedding? Do you believe weddings give you something you can’t get anywhere else? What about the specific traditions that make you ask, “Should I even have that?”
Being respectful of weddings and what they symbolise can make you think about how to make it your own.
Oh, and one final thing for anyone reading this. If you aren’t even sure you want to be with your partner, don’t have a wedding. The risk of a painful, humiliating, and expensive mistake is far too high.
Ethi-call is a free national helpline available to everyone. Operating for over 25 years, and delivered by highly trained counsellors, Ethi-call is the only service of its kind in the world. Book your appointment here.
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The kiss of death: energy policies keep killing our PMs

The kiss of death: energy policies keep killing our PMs
Opinion + AnalysisClimate + EnvironmentScience + Technology
BY Kym Middleton The Ethics Centre 24 AUG 2018
If you were born in 1989 or after, you haven’t yet voted in an election that’s seen a Prime Minister serve a full term.
Some point to social media, the online stomping grounds of digital natives, as the cause of this. As Emma Alberici pointed out, Twitter launched in 2006, the year before Kevin ’07 became PM.
Some blame widening political polarisation, of which there is evidence social media plays a crucial role.
If we take a look though, the thing that keeps killing our PMs’ popularity in the polls and party room is climate and energy policy. It sounds completely anodyne until you realise what a deadly assassin it is.
Rudd
Kevin Rudd declared, “Climate change is the great moral challenge of our generation”. This strategic focus on global warming contributed to him defeating John Howard to become Prime Minister in December 2007. As soon as Rudd took office, he cemented his green brand by ratifying the Kyoto Protocol, something his predecessor refused to do.
There were two other major efforts by the Rudd government to address emissions and climate change. The first was the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme(CPRS) led by then environment minister Penny Wong. It was a ‘cap and trade’ system that had bi-partisan support from the Turnbull led opposition party… until Turnbull lost his shadow leadership to Abbott over it. More on this soon.
Then there was the December 2009 United Nations climate summit in Copenhagen, officially called COP15 (because it was the fifteenth session of the Conference of Parties). Rudd and Wong attended the summit and worked tirelessly with other nations to create a framework for reducing global energy consumption. But COP15 was unsuccessful in that no legally binding emissions limits were set.
Only a few months later, the CPRS was ditched by the Labor government who saw it would never be legislated due to a lack of support. Rudd was seen as ineffectual on climate change policy, the core issue he championed. His popularity plummeted.
Gillard
Enter Julia Gillard. She took poll position in the Labor party in June 2010 in what will be remembered as the “knifing of Kevin Rudd”.
Ahead of the election she said she would “tackle the challenge of climate change” with investments in renewables. She promised, “There will be no carbon tax under the government I lead”.
Had she known the election would result in the first federal hung parliament since 1940, when Menzies was PM, she may not have uttered those words. Gillard wheeled and dealed to form a minority government with the support of a motley crew – Adam Bandt, a Greens MP from Melbourne, and independents Andrew Wilkie from Hobart, and Rob Oakeshott and Tony Windsor from regional NSW. The compromises and negotiations required to please this diverse bunch would make passing legislation a challenging process.
To add to a further degree of difficulty, the Greens held the balance of power in the Senate. Gillard suggested they used this to force her hand to introduce the carbon tax. Then Greens leader Bob Brown denied that claim, saying it was a “mutual agreement”. A carbon price was legislated in November 2011 to much controversy.
Abbott went hard on this broken election promise, repeating his phrase “axe the tax” at every opportunity. Gillard became the unpopular one.
Rudd 2.0
Crouching tiger Rudd leapt up from his grassy foreign ministry portfolio and took the prime ministership back in June 2013. This second stint lasted three months until Labor lost the election.
Abbott
Prime Minister Abbott launched a cornerstone energy policy in December 2013 that might be described as the opposite of Labor’s carbon price. Instead of making polluters pay, it offered financial incentives to those that reduced emissions. It was called the Emissions Reduction Fund and was criticised for being “unclear”. The ERF was connected to the Coalition’s Direct Action Plan which they promoted in opposition.
Abbott stayed true to his “axe the tax” slogan and repealed the carbon price in 2014.
As time moved on, the Coalition government did not do well in news polls – they lost 30 in a row at one stage. Turnbull cited this and creating “strong business confidence” when he announced he would challenge the PM for his job.
Turnbull
After a summer of heatwaves and blackouts, Turnbull and environment minister Josh Frydenberg created the National Energy Guarantee. It aimed to ensure Australia had enough reliable energy in market, support both renewables and traditional power sources, and could meet the emissions reduction targets set by the Paris Agreement. Business, wanting certainty, backed the NEG. It was signed off 14 August.
But rumblings within the Coalition party room over the policy exploded into the epic leadership spill we just saw unfold. It was agitated by Abbott who said:
“This is by far the most important issue that the government confronts because this will shape our economy, this will determine our prosperity and the kind of industries we have for decades to come. That’s why this is so important and that’s why any attempt to try to snow this through … would be dead wrong.”
Turnbull tried to negotiate with the conservative MPs of his party on the NEG. When that failed and he saw his leadership was under serious threat, he killed it off himself. Little did he know he would go down with it.
Peter Dutton continued with a leadership challenge. Turnbull stepped back saying he would not contest and would resign no matter what. His supporters Scott Morrison and Julie Bishop stepped up.
Morrison
After a spat over the NEG, Scott Morrison has just won the prime ministership with 45 votes over Dutton’s 40.
Killers
We have a series of energy policies that were killed off with prime minister after prime minister. We are yet to see a policy attract bi-partisan support that aims to deliver reliable energy at lower emissions and affordable prices. And if you’re 29 or younger, you’re yet to vote in an election that will see a Prime Minister serve a full term.
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Former Head of Editorial & Events at TEC, Kym Middleton is a freelance writer, artistic producer, and multi award winning journalist with a background in long form TV, breaking news and digital documentary. Twitter @kymmidd

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When human rights complicate religious freedom and secular law

When human rights complicate religious freedom and secular law
Opinion + AnalysisPolitics + Human RightsRelationships
BY Simon Longstaff 23 AUG 2018
As the Commonwealth Government ponders its response to the Ruddock Religious Freedom Review, it’s worth considering what people of faith may be seeking to preserve and what limits society might justifiably seek to impose.
The term ‘religious freedom’ encompasses a number of distinct but related ideas. At the core, it’s freedom of belief – in a god, gods or a higher realm or being.
Many religions make absolute (and often mutually exclusive) claims to truth, most of which cannot be proven. Religions rely, instead, on acts of faith. Next comes freedom of worship – the freedom to perform, unhindered, the rituals of one’s faith. Then there is the freedom to act in good conscience – to give effect to one’s religious belief in the course of one’s daily life and, as a corollary, not to be forced to act in a manner that would violate one’s sacred obligations. Finally, there is the freedom to proselytise – to teach the tenets of one’s religion to the faithful and to those who might be persuaded.
In a secular, liberal democracy the four types of religious freedom outlined above – to believe, to worship, to act and to proselytise – attract different degrees of liberty. For example, people are generally free to believe whatever takes their fancy, no matter how ill-founded or bizarre. This is not so in all societies. Some theocracies will punish ‘heretics’ for holding unorthodox beliefs. Acting out of belief – in worship, deeds and proselytising – is often subject to some measure of restraint. For example, pious folk are not permitted to set up a pulpit (or equivalent) in the middle of a main road. They are not permitted to beat a woman, even if the teaching of their religion allows (or requires) her chastisement. They are not permitted to let a child die because of a religious objection to life-saving medical procedures. Nor are they able to teach that some people are ‘lesser beings’, lacking intrinsic dignity, simply because of their gender, sexuality, culture, religion, and so on. In other words, there are boundaries set for the expression of religious belief, whatever those beliefs might be.
It is precisely the setting of such ‘boundaries’ that has become a point of contention. Some Australian religious leaders claim they should be exempt from the application of Australian laws that they do not approve, like anti-discrimination legislation. This is nothing new. As it happens, in Australia, a number of religions have long denied the validity of secular law, even to the extent of running parallel legal systems.
The Roman Catholic Church regularly applies Canon Law in cases involving the status of divorcees, the sanctity of the confessional, and so on. The Government of Australia might recognise divorce, but the Church does not. The following text is taken from the official website of the Archdiocese of Sydney: A divorce is a civil act that claims to dissolve a valid marriage. From a civil legal perspective, a marriage existed and was then dissolved. The Catholic Church … does not recognise the ability of the State to dissolve a marriage. An annulment, on the other hand, is an official declaration by a Church Tribunal that what appeared to be a valid marriage was actually not one (i.e, that the marriage was in fact invalid) [my emphasis].
In a similar vein, the Jewish community maintains a separate legal system that oversees the application of Halakhic Law through the operation of special Jewish religious courts called Beth Din. Given the precedents set by Christians and Jews, it’s not surprising that adherents of other faith groups, notably Muslims, are seeking the same rights to apply religious laws within their own courts and to enjoy exemptions from the application of the secular law.
“Fundamental human rights come as a ‘bundle’. They are indivisible.”
Given all of the above, are there any principles that we might draw on when setting the boundaries to religious freedom?
Human rights
Fortunately, the proponents of freedom of religion have provided an excellent starting point for answering this question. It begins with the core of their argument – that freedom of belief (religion) is a fundamental human right. Their claim is well founded. However, those who invoke fundamental human rights cannot ‘cherry pick’ amongst those rights, only defending those that suit their preferences.
Fundamental human rights come as a ‘bundle’. They are indivisible. It follows from this that if people of faith are to assert their claim to religious freedom as a fundamental human right, then the exercise of that freedom should be consistent with the realisation of all other fundamental human rights. Religious freedom is but one. It follows from this that any legislative instrument designed to create a legal right to freedom of religion must circumscribe that right to the extent necessary to ensure that other human rights are not curtailed. For example, a legal right to religious freedom should not authorise violence against another person. Nor should it permit discrimination of a kind that would otherwise be considered unlawful under human rights legislation.
If there is to be Commonwealth legislation, then it should establish an unrestricted right of belief and a rebuttable presumption in favour of acting on those beliefs. The limits to action should be that the conduct (either by word or deed): does not constrain the liberty of another person, does not subject another person to any form of violence, does not deny the intrinsic dignity of another person and does not violate the human rights of another person. Finally, it is essential that as a liberal democracy any Australian legislation specify that the tenets of a religion only apply to those who have freely consented to adopt that religion.
So, what might this look like in practice – say, in relation to same sex marriage now that it is lawful?
Baking cakes
Nobody should be compelled to believe that same sex marriage is ‘moral’. That is a matter of personal belief unrelated to the law. Second, it should be permissible to teach, to members of one’s faith group, and to advocate, more generally, that same sex marriage is immoral (a view I do not hold). The fact that something is legal leaves open the question of its morality. Third, no person should be required to perform a marriage if to do so would violate the dictates of their conscience. Roman Catholic priests refuse to marry heterosexual divorcees. Such marriages are allowed by the state – yet no priest is forced to perform such a marriage because to do so would make them directly complicit is an act their religion forbids. Such an allowance should only extend to those at risk of becoming directly complicit in objectionable acts. For example, such an allowance should not be granted to a religious baker not wanting to provide a wedding cake to a gay couple. Cakes play no direct role in the formalities of a civil marriage. So, unlike a pharmaceutical company that might justifiably object to becoming complicit through the supply of drugs to an executioner, a baker is never going to be complicit in the performance of a marriage. As such, a baker should be bound by law to supply his or her goods on a non-discriminatory basis. Of course, there will always be some who feel obliged to put the requirements of their religion before the law.
To act according to one’s conscience in an honourable choice. But only do this if you are willing to bear the penalty.
Dr Simon Longstaff is Executive Director of The Ethics Centre: www.ethics.org.au
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BY Simon Longstaff
After studying law in Sydney and teaching in Tasmania, Simon pursued postgraduate studies in philosophy as a Member of Magdalene College, Cambridge. In 1991, Simon commenced his work as the first Executive Director of The Ethics Centre. In 2013, he was made an officer of the Order of Australia (AO) for “distinguished service to the community through the promotion of ethical standards in governance and business, to improving corporate responsibility, and to philosophy.”
From NEG to Finkel and the Paris Accord – what’s what in the energy debate

From NEG to Finkel and the Paris Accord – what’s what in the energy debate
Opinion + AnalysisClimate + EnvironmentRelationshipsScience + Technology
BY The Ethics Centre 20 AUG 2018
We’ve got NEGs, NEMs, and Finkels a-plenty. Here is a cheat sheet for this whole energy debate that’s speeding along like a coal train and undermining Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s authority. Let’s take it from the start…
UN Framework Convention on Climate Change – 1992
This Convention marked the first time combating climate change was seen as an international priority. It had near-universal membership, with countries including Australia all committed to curbing greenhouse gas emissions. The Kyoto Protocol was its operative arm (more on this below).
The Kyoto Protocol – December 1997
The Kyoto Protocol is an internationally binding agreement that sets emission reduction targets. It gets its name from the Japanese city it was ratified in and is linked to the aforementioned UN Framework Convention on Climate Change. The Protocol’s stance is that developed nations should shoulder the burden of reducing emissions because they have been creating the bulk of them for over 150 years of industrial activity. The US refused to sign the Protocol because the two largest CO2 emitters, China and India, were exempt for their “developing” status. When Canada withdrew in 2011, saving the country $14 billion in penalties, it became clear the Kyoto Protocol needed some rethinking.
Australia’s National Electricity Market (NEM) – 1998
Forget the fancy name. This is the grid. And Australia’s National Electricity Market is one of the world’s longest power grids. It connects suppliers and consumers down the entire east and south east coasts of the continent. It spans across six states and territories and hops over the Bass Strait connecting Tasmania. Western Australia and the Northern Territory aren’t connected to the NEM because of distance.
Source: Australian Energy Market Operator
The NEM is made up of more than 300 organisations, including businesses and state government departments, that work to generate, transport and deliver electricity to Australian users. This is no mean feat. Before reliable batteries hit the market, which are still not widely rolled out, electricity has been difficult to store. We’ve needed to continuously generate it to meet our 24/7 demands. The NEM, formally established under the Keating Labor government, is an always operating complex grid.
The Paris Agreement aka the Paris Accord – November 2016
The Paris Agreement attempted to address the oversight of the Kyoto Protocol (that the largest emitters like China and India were exempt) with two fundamental differences – each country sets its own limits and developing countries be supported. The overarching aim of this agreement is to keep global temperatures “well below” an increase of two degrees and attempt to achieve a limit of one and a half degrees above pre-industrial levels (accounting for global population growth which drives demand for energy). Except Australia isn’t tracking well. We’ve already gone past the halfway mark and there’s more than a decade before the 2030 deadline. When US President Donald Trump denounced the Paris Agreement last year, there was concern this would influence other countries to pull out – including Australia. Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott suggested we signed up following the US’s lead. But Foreign Minister Julie Bishop rebutted this when she said: “When we signed up to the Paris Agreement it was in the full knowledge it would be an agreement Australia would be held to account for and it wasn’t an aspiration, it was a commitment … Australia plays by the rules — if we sign an agreement, we stick to the agreement.”
The Finkel Review – June 2017
Following the South Australian blackout of 2017 and rapidly increasing electricity costs, people began asking if our country’s entire energy system needs an overhaul. How do we get reliable, cheap energy to a growing population and reduce emissions? Dr Alan Finkel, Australia’s chief scientist, was commissioned by the federal government to review our energy market’s sustainability, environmental impact, and affordability. Here’s what the Review found:
Sustainability:
- A transition to low emission energy needs to be supported by a system-wide grid across the nation.
- Regular regional assessments will provide bespoke approaches to delivering energy to communities that have different needs to cities.
- Energy companies that want to close their power plants should give three years’ notice so other energy options can be built to service consumers.
Affordability:
- A new Energy Security Board (ESB) would deliver the Review’s recommendations, overseeing the monopolised energy market.
Environmental impact:
- Currently, our electricity is mostly generated by fossil fuels (87 percent), producing 35 percent of our total greenhouse gases.
- We’re can’t transition to renewables without a plan.
- A Clean Energy Target (CET), would force electricity companies to provide a set amount of power from “low emissions” generators, like wind and solar. This set amount would be determined by the government.
-
- The government rejected the CET on the basis that it would not do enough to reduce energy prices. This was one out of 50 recommendations posed in the Finkel Review.
ACCC Report – July 2018
The Australian Competition & Consumer Commission’s Retail Electricity Pricing Inquiry Report drove home the prices consumers and businesses were paying for electricity were unreasonably high. The market was too concentrated, its charges too confusing, and bad policy decisions by government have been adding significant costs to our electricity bills. The ACCC has backed the National Energy Guarantee, saying it should drive down prices but needs safeguards to ensure large incumbents do not gain more market control.
National Energy Guarantee (NEG)– present 20 August 2018
The NEG was the Turnbull government’s effort to make a national energy policy to deliver reliable, affordable energy and transition from fossil fuels to renewables. It aimed to ‘guarantee’ two obligations from energy retailers:
- To provide sufficient quantities of reliable energy to the market (so no more black outs).
- To meet the emissions reduction targets set by the Paris Agreement (so less coal powered electricity).
It was meant to lower energy prices and increase investment in clean energy generation, including wind, solar, batteries, and other renewables. The NEG is a big deal, not least because it has been threatening Malcolm Turnbull’s Prime Ministership. It is the latest in a long line of energy almost-policies. It attempted to do what the carbon tax, emissions intensity scheme, and clean energy target haven’t – integrate climate change targets, reduce energy prices, and improve energy reliability into a single policy with bipartisan support. Ambitious. And it seems to have been ditched by Turnbull because he has been pressured by his own party. Supporters of the NEG feel it is an overdue radical change to address the pressing issues of rising energy bills, unreliable power, and climate change. But its detractors on the left say the NEG is not ambitious enough, and on the right too cavalier because the complexity of the National Energy Market cannot be swiftly replaced.
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The energy debate to date – recommended reads

The energy debate to date – recommended reads
Opinion + AnalysisClimate + Environment
BY The Ethics Centre 18 AUG 2018
Australia, we put it to you. ‘Is it too soon to ditch fossil fuels?’ We’ve waded through political waters and presented our shiniest pearls for your perusal.
Cheat Sheet
From NEG to Finkel and the Paris Accord – what’s what in the energy debate
The Ethics Centre
18 October 2018
Before action must come knowledge. And before knowledge must come sorting through a heap of confusing, jargonistic, off-putting acronyms, reviews, and accords. Worry not, we’ve got your back and did it for you. Our cheat sheet will brush you up on all those names that keep getting dropped in the Australian energy debate like they’re hot coals.
Video
Australia’s energy crisis: “Absolute shambles, national embarrassment and a disgrace”
7.30, ABC News
Ian Verrender
13 Feb 2017
This 7.30 report is a perfect backgrounder to the mess that is Australia’s energy crisis. The NEM broke leaving hot and bothered South Australians without electricity (you read the cheat sheet so you know the NEM is a fancy acronym for the grid). A Victorian power plant that supplied 20 percent of the state’s energy simply closed shop. Renewables are unreliable but fossil fuels are killing the planet. Holy calamity!
Interactive
They Vote For You – How does your MP vote on the issues that matter to you?
Open Australia Foundation
If you’re rearing to parade your opinion, hold on. Haste makes waste. While we’re between elections, how about taking a look at how your local MP voted on energy? Did they champion a fast switch to renewables or continued support for fossil fuels like coal and gas? Forget what they said in the run up to an election and check out what they did.
Movie
And one for fun. Maybe a post-apocalyptic energy crisis isn’t so bad if we can also have double-necked flame guitars.
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New framework for trust and legitimacy

New framework for trust and legitimacy
Opinion + AnalysisBusiness + Leadership
BY The Ethics Centre 17 AUG 2018
In our report The Trust, Legitimacy & the Ethical Foundations of the Market Economy, we outline why legitimacy is more important than trust to the success of Australian companies and must be underpinned by an ethical framework.
It’s a distinction between trust and legitimacy that must be understood by corporations today who are facing a precipitous decline in levels of public trust. Trust is wholly dependant on legitimacy, which can only be maintained when performance is linked to a legitimate purpose and guided by a core ethical framework. While trust in corporations, can be compensated for by increased surveillance, legitimacy once lost, cannot be recovered at any cost.
This report draws on philosophical thinking to identify a minimum threshold of four fundamental values and principles companies must meet to maintain legitimacy: respect people, do no harm, be responsible, and be transparent and honest.
Dr Simon Longstaff AO, The Ethics Centre’s Executive Director and co-author of the paper says “The privileges of incorporation and limited liability were justified by a broad appeal to the common good. If those privileges are to be preserved, then it may be time to establish a new, core ethical foundation for corporations.”
“This framework must enable agility and protect against the risks of poor decision-making. An alternative and complementary approach to more compliance is to establish a values and principles framework that guides rather than dictates decision-makers.”
The report includes threshold indicators for the four fundamental values and principles identified to help companies undertake a legitimacy self-assessment.
The full report can be accessed here: trustandlegitimacy.com.au
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How to break up with a friend

How to break up with a friend
Opinion + AnalysisHealth + WellbeingRelationships
BY Aisyah Shah Idil The Ethics Centre 16 AUG 2018
If your friendship is a battlefield, you’ve got to know when to wave the white flag. How do you break up with a friend – ethically?
It might’ve been a slow fade after leaving high school. A messy split over unpaid bills. Maybe it was an awkward part at the airport, or a text silence that lasted a few months longer than usual.
Though not as lamented as ending a romance, ending a friendship can be just as painful. Maybe even more. While some of that is because of the hurt and disappointment of any unfulfilling relationship, another part can be attributed to its ambiguity.
The due process owed to an ex (counselling, teary conversations, logical explanations to well-meaning buddies and family) doesn’t exist for the friendships in our lives. If we want to break up with a friend, how do we do it ethically?
If you’re keen to rip off the friendship band-aid, keep reading. Here are some questions our Ethi-call counsellors would ask to help you act in line with your morals and values.
1. What is the purpose of friendship?
Let’s get back to basics. Asking yourself what a good friendship looks like can help you see if there’s a disconnect between what you’d like it to be and what it really is.
A good friendship could be one where you:
- Love and accept each other
- Are role models for each other’s children
- Feel safe expressing your honest thoughts
- Feel grateful that you share each other’s lives
If any of these questions cause discomfort, maybe your friendship has crossed a line it shouldn’t have. What is your duty to yourself? Is it fair to expect these things?
2. How could you create the least harm and most benefit?
Owning that your needs aren’t being met is important. But equally as important are the needs your friend is owed in a reciprocal relationship.
- What are your obligations to your friend?
- Have you any part to play in this?
- What would a wise person suggest?
Every relationship takes effort. Part of loving someone, warts and all, is acknowledging the effort is worth it. But when that isn’t true, a breakup may not be the only way to deal with it. Consider if your actions are going to cause more benefit than harm – to all the people involved.
- What are the consequences (of a friendship breakup)?
- Is doing nothing an option? If so, what would be your tipping point?
- What will the lasting impact be?
A breakup isn’t the end of anyone’s story. People carry these formative experiences with them and may do so for the rest of their lives.
3. How can you preserve and prioritise dignity?
If you’ve considered all this and still think you need to end the friendship, remember to be kind. Considering why you were friends in the first place means this transition isn’t about kicking anyone when they’re down.
How will you break up? Does your friendship lend itself to a face-to-face conversation or is it better through email? Is one session or message enough or are more required?
Your friend might not agree with what you consider to be good and right, but handling such a delicate situation in a way that is in line with your moral character might be one of your greatest accomplishments.
Some positive outcomes might even eventuate, such as:
- Renewal of your friendship and commitment to each other
- Knowing that you both did your best
- Revelation in self-knowledge and commitment to personal growth
- Speaking well of each other to mutual friends (and meaning it)
- Shared sense of closure and grief
Friendships and relationships don’t exist in vacuums. Whether good or bad, a history of contact with each other comes with its own particular language, traditions and memories. None of us are the centre of the universe, and believing so runs counter to the reality of multiple subjective experiences. Continuing on that path can not only make it harder for you to be a friend, but for you to be fully human.
Even if it wasn’t love, you shared each other’s lives. And that’s always worth respecting.
If you or someone you know is at risk of harm or feeling suicidal, get help immediately. Call Lifeline 13 11 14 or 000 if life is in danger.
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When you hire a philosopher as your ethicist, you are getting a unicorn

When you hire a philosopher as your ethicist, you are getting a unicorn
Opinion + AnalysisHealth + Wellbeing
BY Matthew Beard 14 AUG 2018
If a tree falls on a philosopher in a forest and there is no one around to hear it, does she make a sound? Probably not, because she is undercover.
Philosophers are working in business and are applying their disciplined thinking processes to complex commercial and ethical problems – but you won’t find them listed on the organisational chart as philosopher-in-chief and seldom as the designated “ethicist”.
“We are unicorns, we are a bit rare”, says business ethicist and philosopher, Dr Petrina Coventry, who says she has spent her career being called something else.
“I’ve always hidden behind the HR brand because it is easier for people to cope with”, she explains. “If it takes pretending to be a pony to get the message across – so be it. We leave our horns at the door.”
Ethics officers bring a philosophical approach to thinking, decision making, strategy, branding, and communications. They work with all functions (marketing, legal, human resources, finance and others) to find the right way to do business.
“They are not compliance officers and they are not lawyers”, she says. They may carry business cards that announce them as chiefs of staff, people and performance or, occasionally chief operating officer.
Coventry says ethicists operating under other descriptors are trying to not “frighten the horses”.
“Going out and proud and saying you are a chief ethics offer will not get you very far”, says Coventry, a senior partner at Singapore based private equity company COI Capital and non-executive director of Beston Global Goods. She is also an industry professor and director of development at the University of Adelaide.
“People are frightened of the word [ethics]. They think you are making moral judgements about their character, that you are analysing them into ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on their character, decision making or what they represent. And so, I try to avoid using the word ‘ethics’ if I can, because you can over use it and people just switch off.
“I don’t care what [title] I have to hide behind, whether it is ombuds or human resources. If it is not frightening, yet it helps them be a better person, be less stressed, be better thinkers … they are intrigued and they want more.” – Petrina Coventry
While being a company “ethicist” can be challenging to others, Philosophy has its own battle for acceptance in the corporate world.
Coventry, who has a doctorate in philosophy, says there is some suspicion in business circles that the discipline is esoteric, despite some of the world’s most successful executives and entrepreneurs having studied for philosophy degrees.
These people include activist investor Carl Icahn, hedge fund manager George Soros, former Time Warner CEO Gerald Levin, PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel, LinkedIn cofounder Reid Hoffman, and Flickr cofounder and Slack CEO Stewart Butterfield. Not too flaky then.
Given the predominance of Silicon Valley CEOs on that list, it is perhaps unsurprising that technology companies are at the forefront of embracing ethicists (outside of the research, medical, and pharmaceutical sectors, which have a long history with ethics committees).
At this stage, most of the ethicists in tech have backgrounds in other areas, such as computer science (like former Google in-house design ethicist, Tristan Harris).
Coventry sees the beginning of a shift towards ethics, and away from compliance. She says:
“Compliance is cure, ethics is prevention.”
“It is a bit like having a doctor in-house rather than having to cart everybody off to the hospital because we forgot to go to the doctor.”
Outside of Silicon Valley, CEOs and their organisations are increasingly interested in acquiring more ethics expertise, especially now that scandals and failures now appear so frequent they may still shock, but no longer surprise.
“Stakeholder expectations have changed in the last ten years, partly due to increased transparency around corporate actions, but also due to the corresponding decline in trust regarding corporations and their leaders”, says Coventry, who has worked at executive level in “HR” at Santos, General Electric, and the Coca Cola Company.
Her first ethics role was in the 1990s, when she headed GE’s “ombuds” area in Asia, dealing with breaches in compliance and policy and workplace issues.
“The ombuds person is called on to mediate, negotiate, analyse problems that occur, and provide wise counsel and judgement, which is really what ethicists do”, she says.
In a world where the rules are constantly changing, situations are often unclear and legislation is unable to keep up with advances in science and technology, people have to make their own judgement calls about what is the right thing to do.
This has generated an interest in people who have an arts or philosophy background and can help develop better leaders and companies, she says.
“They are seeking a less emotional, less stressful, more thoughtful, more mindful, more sustainable approach, culture and leadership – and philosophy is born out of that.”
The Ethics Alliance brings different sectors of business together to discuss topics of importance.
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Are diversity and inclusion the bedrock of a sound culture?

Are diversity and inclusion the bedrock of a sound culture?
Opinion + AnalysisBusiness + Leadership
BY Alison Woolsey The Ethics Centre 14 AUG 2018
We need to think about diversity in the workplace beyond gender, argues Alison Woolsey, Director of Diversity & Inclusion at Clayton Utz, a member of The Ethics Alliance.
In December 2017, Chartered Accountants Australia NZ, The Ethics Centre, Governance Institute of Australia, and Institute of Internal Auditors released a publication titled Managing Culture – A good practice guide.
Inspired by the discussion, I wondered how important the link between diversity and inclusion (“D&I”) and a sound culture in which ethical decision making is a given? Being able to point to clear evidence of a link could only advance the case for D&I in our organisations and help address any resistance to change.
A lot has changed in the Australian market. In spite of, and perhaps because of, the Hayne Royal Commission and its fallout, the connection is worth exploring. It’s a topic that has been investigated by others in the past – certainly with a gender diversity focus. For example:
- Professor Robert Wood of the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Ethical Leadership, summarised several articles and studies linking more women on boards and in senior management with improved risk management and corporate governance
- The above paper references a study which found Fortune 500 companies with a higher percentage of women on their board of directors were more likely to be on Ethisphere Institute’s list of the World’s Most Ethical Companies.
- ‘The Lehman Sisters Hypothesis’, a study that concludes empirical literature backs the claim “more gender diversity in finance, and particularly at the top would help to reduce some of the behavioural drivers behind the crises”.
A little less on point, but worth noting as it often comes up in gender diversity discussions, is John Gerzema and Michael D’Antonio’s 2013 book, The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future. It offered a global survey of 64,000 people and revealed that two thirds felt the “world would be a better place if men thought more like women”.
What I would like to focus on here, however, are two key and interrelated theses around diversity and inclusion and their role in driving workplace culture:
- Diverse teams drive better decision making.
- Inclusive workplaces inspire better team performance (as well as employee satisfaction, success and security).
If these theses hold true (and I consider each in more detail below), the unavoidable conclusion could be that D&I helps shape an organisation’s culture for the better, and will be increasingly valued – and even demanded – by boards and investors as corporate governance rules are strengthened and companies’ social licences to operate come under increased scrutiny.
Diversity is a trigger for better decision making
Much is written about the “value of diverse teams” and “diversity of thinking”. Many leaders and organisations use the expressions liberally when promoting their diversity policies. But do we really understand what these expressions mean?
In her book, Which Two Heads Are Better Than One, Australian author Juliet Bourke acknowledges the collective intelligence that diverse teams can offer, but debunks any theory that it’s easy to achieve through simple gender balance and diversity of background.
Bourke introduces several enablers of diversity of thinking. These include the composition of any group and the process they use to think and debate. Gender balance in a group, she says, “promotes psychological safety and more conversational turn-taking, thereby encouraging people to speak up, offer their views, and elaborate on the ideas of others”. Racial diversity “triggers curiosity, causing people to ask more questions, make fewer assumptions, listen more closely, and process information more deeply”. Age and geographic location also play a role.
In addition to this, we need to consider more direct factors – firstly, diversity of approach to problem solving. Bourke identifies six key individual approaches to problem solving but notes we tend to focus on two in particular. She says that by deliberately taking a more balanced approach, groups report they reduced blind spots and “were able to develop more robust solution” and moreover “followers report greater faith in the ultimate solution”.
The second direct influence on diversity of thinking comes from the mix of functional roles such as general counsel, chief risk officer, and chief HR officer. These executive positions expose members to different domains of knowledge and social networks, Bourke says.
This theory challenges the simplicity of the proposition that having women in a group mitigates risk. Australian academic Cordelia Fine similarly dismisses the existence of any gender gap in risk taking in her 2016 book, Testosterone Rex. So too does Elizabeth Sheedy, who concludes in a 2017 study that senior female bankers don’t conform to stereotypes and are just as ready to take risks.
This rich research linking gender diversity and improved business performance suggests organisations also need to consider a wider range of diversity forms beyond women to men ratios. When you begin to grasp the complexity of optimal diversity, you begin to realise the opportunities and value that teams can deliver or destroy.
Inclusion and workplace performance
Achieving the ideal diversity mix in any group is no mean feat. However, a group can still underperform if its members do not feel included.
According to the Diversity Council of Australia, inclusion occurs when a mix of people are respected, connected, progressing, and contributing to organisational success. Deloitte’s HR research body, Bersin, shows organisations with inclusive cultures are six times more likely to be innovative, anticipate change, and respond effectively, and twice as likely to meet or exceed financial targets.
We see evidence that inclusion is associated with being treated fairly and respectfully, being valued for one’s uniqueness and sensing group belonging. The Deloitte Inclusion Maturity Model identifies the highest level of inclusion as being when people report feeling both psychologically safe and inspired to do their best work. At a more granular level, this is about people feeling (or leaders encouraging people to feel) they can contribute in a meeting, have a voice in decisions affecting them, and can disagree or challenge group decisions.
Leaders are instrumental in creating a culture of inclusion. Diversity commentators and practitioners largely agree on a common set of leadership capabilities including being collaborative, accountable, open and curious, a champion of diversity, and relational. A big piece in the discussion on inclusive leadership is the importance of counteracting biases and assumptions in decision making. In recent years, not only have we seen a growing level of awareness of unconscious biases but also a push to explore practical ways (policies, processes and structures) to mitigate against them.
Positive traits of an inclusive leader include being particularly mindful of personal and cultural biases like confirmation bias and groupthink. Juliet Bourke also highlights the importance of leaders being cognisant of the situations and factors such as time pressures and fatigue which can cause them to be vulnerable to such biases.
As several authors have argued, there was potential for diversity of thinking and good decision making in the Enron board, but the decisions “concerned matters of high complexity, difficulty and moral uncertainty” and ultimately it succumbed to groupthink, says Bourke.
Does diversity and inclusion lead to sound culture?
If we have ideal diversity in a team and have cultivated inclusion through good leadership, does a sound organisational culture necessarily follow?
Logically, yes. We’ve canvassed positive outcomes such as good decision making, effective team work, psychological safety, and innovation. We’ve considered the impact of leaders being more open and curious, conscious of biases, and accountable. In both the Managing Culture paper and APRA’s report on the Commonwealth Bank, we see references to the need for improved behaviours of boards and senior leadership along the lines of these themes. If D&I doesn’t at least influence ethical behaviour or underpin the concept of an ethical framework, it would be easy to argue inclusive leadership can facilitate embedding an ethical framework.
McKinsey in its 2018 update suggests that, for many companies, D&I is a “matter of license to operate”. This is a theme at the heart of proposed changes to the ASX Corporate Governance Council’s Principles and Recommendations. In a substantial redraft of principle 3, the current words of “act ethically and responsibly” become “instil and continually reinforce a culture across the organisation of acting lawfully, ethically and in a socially responsible manner”. The ASX says that “preserving an entity’s social licence to operate requires the board and management of a listed entity to have regard to the views and interests of a broader range of stakeholders than just its security holders, including employees”. It goes on to suggest this may include, by way of example, “offering employment to people with disability or from socially disadvantaged groups in society”.
On one view this could be saying good culture drives greater levels of diversity, and not vice versa. What’s interesting though is the earlier editions of the Principles and Recommendations also included diversity under principle 3. It was then relocated in 2014 to Principle 1: “lay solid foundations for management and oversight”. In my view, D&I sits comfortably under both principles – a recognition of it being business critical but also critical for ‘good’ or ‘right’ decisions.
More reflection on the point may be required but I think investors and our regulators should care about what organisations are doing to make D&I a priority in the way they conduct business and as employers. D&I may be an undervalued lever to promote positive change in business behaviours and workplace cultures in Australia. The world’s largest asset manager BlackRock has identified board diversity as a “stewardship priority”. Larry Fink recently wrote in his annual letter to CEOs:
“We also will continue to emphasize the importance of a diverse board. Boards with a diverse mix of genders, ethnicities, career experiences, and ways of thinking have, as a result, a more diverse and aware mindset. They are less likely to succumb to groupthink or miss new threats to a company’s business model. And they are better able to identify opportunities that promote long-term growth.” – Larry Fink
It makes sense to continue to make the case for diversity and inclusion as being a driver of positive change – for business, and for the community.
Alison Woolsey is director of Diversity & Inclusion at Clayton Utz, a member of The Ethics Alliance.

This article was originally written for The Ethics Alliance. Find out more about this corporate membership program. Already a member? Log in to the membership portal for more content and tools here.
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Why do good people do bad things?

Why do good people do bad things?
Opinion + AnalysisBusiness + Leadership
BY Daniel Effron ethics 14 AUG 2018
Why do good people do bad things? When we know someone to be a fine and moral person in other respects, we are flabbergasted when they get caught for dodging their taxes, fiddling their expenses, or abusing their positions of power.
Social psychologist Daniel Effron says traditional assumptions about why good people transgress are “naive”.
We may think they go through a logical progression of weighing the costs and benefits. Can they get away with it? How much can they gain from cheating? How severe is the punishment?
“This is not nuanced enough”, counters Effron.
“In fact, the average person cares a lot about feeling – and appearing – virtuous.”
Rather than asking themselves if they can get away with it, they instead ask if they can do it without feeling like a bad person, says Effron, Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour at the London Business School.
Effron’s research examines how people act in ethically questionable ways without feeling unethical. He was speaking an Ethics Alliance panel on Embedding Values & Principles in June.
People cheat less than they can get away with
Experiments which involve people rolling a die in private, where no one can see them, find that people cheat (but only a little bit) when they are told the higher the number they roll, the more money they will get.
“They want to get something good for themselves, even if it means being dishonest, but they don’t want to feel like a terrible human being, so they don’t cheat as much as they could”, says Effron.
This finding implies that monitoring an organisation to ensure no one is dishonest can be a very costly and impractical exercise. Netflix, instead, decided to stop policing its expense reports.
Former Netflix chief talent officer Patty McCord explains, “In talking that through with employees, we said we expected them to spend company money frugally, as if it were their own. Eliminating a formal policy and forgoing expense account police shifted responsibility to frontline managers, where it belongs.
“It also reduced costs: Many large companies still use travel agents (and pay their fees) to book trips, as a way to enforce travel policies. They could save money by letting employees book their own trips online”, McCord writes in the Harvard Business Review.
People cheat more if they can maintain a positive self view
Effron says his research shows people look to their moral track records, to spot evidence they are a good person.
If they can point to some good deeds, they feel they have some “moral credentials”, or moral licence, when they engage in “ambiguous behaviours”.
For instance, a study shows that when people express a preference to buy environmentally friendly products (which makes them feel more ethical) they are also more likely to lie, cheat, and steal money from the experimenter.
Effron says this implies it may be effective for organisations to remind people of their ethical commitments. “When people make public commitments, they feel obligated to follow through with them”, he says.
It does not work so well just to emphasise the good things people have done. “If you emphasise ethical achievements, people feel they have ticked the box and they may be more likely to relax their striving for ethical goals.”
People cheat less when ethics are top of mind
People may know where the ethical “line in the sand is” but, as they edge closer, the line fades and, whoops, before they know it, they find themselves on the other side.
“What can we do to stop this ethical fading? Keep ethics top of mind” – Daniel Effron
A study at the London Business School finds people are more honest in filling out forms if they have to sign at the top that everything they are about to say is true, rather than signing at the bottom that everything they just said is true.
This is because they have been prompted to think about ethics before they give their answers, rather than afterwards.
This suggests organisations should routinely discuss ethics in decision making, with reminders in the workplace to keep ethics top of mind.
People may admit the deed, but not the motivation
The executive director of Corruption Prevention at the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) Lewis Rangott, says people rarely see themselves as immoral.
Very few people will admit they have been “the bad guy”, says Rangott, speaking at the Ethics Alliance event in Sydney.
“We will put them in the box, they will have to swear on the Bible and we will show them the evidence of them engaging in criminal behaviour – like a film or video – and eventually, they will admit to the deed, but very rarely will they admit to the corrupt intent. They always have a little excuse for themselves”, says Rangott.
“Giving yourself this little mental permission slip, even for the very serious stuff, seems to have something in common with regular dishonesty and also very serious misconduct and white collar crime.”
Rangott says that while the threat of an ICAC investigation may be a useful tactic to keep people honest, fear is the wrong motivation for the right behaviour. People should be intrinsically motivated to do the right thing.
Organisations can use workplace stories to encourage honesty and integrity. When someone gets fired for bullying, or the CEO thanks a whistleblower in public, that gives people the right role-modelling.
“A nice cheap and easy way to get ethics in your organisation is, without faking it, get some of these stories going in your organisation. Something people will talk about in the pub is where the real embedding happens”, says Rangott.
However, all the time, money and effort spent on embedding values gets sucked down the drain as soon as a “jerk” gets promoted. “You have to be careful who you promote. People are so good at spotting the tiniest bit of hypocrisy.”

This article was originally written for The Ethics Alliance. Find out more about this corporate membership program. Already a member? Log in to the membership portal for more content and tools here.
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